Living Doll (personal opinion)

So today will write about something I watched and well had being wondering about it for a while.

What is beauty?

First let me show you a video I found on YouTube, it is a documentary and I actually found it very interesting. it is just 40 minutes long, you can watch it and then read or read and then watch. What I will write it is just my personal opinion.

So personally, I have been quite obsessed woth this as well, since a long time I have been interested on the Gothic lolita fashion and I actually like the doll sort of look.

 

I am not happy of how I look, I know I am not pretty and try my hardest to at least look decent to look. I am short and chubby and it has become quite an issue to lose weight in a healthy way and I am in a slow process. Because I am short some friends started to call me doll and getting me nice laced accessories, which I liked and slowly this became something I wanted to.

But as shown on the video the "doll" fashion is not really something people look with a nice eyes, it is just full of criticism and I am aware of this. I used to dress as a Gothic and remember very well the impression I gave and how "not welcomed" I was when entering a place and I lived in a big city with a variety of people but still... and you cannot pretend to change it.

 

The media doesn't make it easy either, because the beauty standard are high and at the end you just don't value yourself anymore.

Then in my personal case or young people who are into the Asian modern culture, it doesn't make it any easier at all!

What I mean people like me, live with the insecurity of their looks, in my case I have always been told in school by classmates how ugly I was, now I know after several years that actually I am not ugly but I am not a beauty either. Because of this we admire beauty.

The beauty standard in Asia is similar that in Occident, slim and pretty face but! the big but is that actually Asian girls most of them are beautiful indeed, they don't need the help of a knife but idols, they still do...but that is another topic.

Anyhow I don't see anything bad on wanting to be like a doll. I prefer the doll beauty instead of the sexy barbie like beauty. My personal taste is the doll beauty because it is more innocent and I think it adapts better with who I am. To be honest I haven't tried to be a living doll and it is not like I haven't wanted to. But it is expensive, the nice clothing, the make up and well I think if I do it now it won't have the effect I want, I will be more like a chubby doll, so while I lose weight I save money to be a proper doll.

The issue with being a living doll, is that society won't look at you nicely at all, they will call you extravagant, weird. For them you are no right in the head. Why do you want to be a doll? or look like a doll?

Then I can ask them the same, why you want to look like this actress or this model, singer,etc...I think we all have our own standards of beauty and we all have someone we think is beautiful and we want to be a little like that person, we know we will never be like that person but we try to imitate anyway. so it is not the same? While some girls want to be like Rihanna then other want to be like a doll. what is wrong with that? isn't the same?

I know too because of society there are limits on how far we can go as to be a living doll or just wanting to dress or look like one.

Work place, definitely is not the place to look like a doll, people won't look at you seriously,you will not be reliable to their eyes, doesn't matter how capable you really are or your qualifications, you simply cannot be a doll!

I think it will be nice if you family support you or at least understand why you wish to look like a doll at time and don't judge you or try to change you.

The streets, definitely the people would look at you bad, there is nothing to change about that, just be careful and be prepared for anything, young teenagers would call you names, some adults will talk within them in front of you about you and you will hear it, some people may like it and compliment you, some old people will ask you, what are you thinking?, the little girls will love you and think you are coming out a book but their moms won't like you at all and will try to grab the little girl as far as they can, if you want to walk as a living doll on the street just be aware and be strong.

When trying to meet people try not be the doll, I know is hard to because if you want to meet someone, you want that person to accept the whole you and that will be accept you inner doll. But try not to if not again people won't take you seriously. If you find someone who you may trust then confess and show your inner doll and be prepared for any type of reaction, can be good or bad.

With friends will be the same as with family and in this aspect you will find who is a real friend and who is not.

 

I think with make up is amazing how far you can change yourself, then some nice clothes and even a wig and ta-dah! you are something else. Even when I use plain make up but wear a wig the change is quite nice ^^

Now the issue is how far are we going for being like a doll? And of course when asking this, I want to talk about surgery.

 On my personal opinion, I am not against surgery but all with limits and if you really think you need it. And I don't to say that is for looking as a doll, I mean surgery to be more confident about yourself or more pleased with your face.

I myself actually wish to do surgery, not a major change though, just my nose, because I feel it doesn't match my face, my face actually is quite small and my nose is quite big, so I think there is no harmony in my face and maybe arrange my jawline but just that, I wouldn't go any further than that.

In one case on the video, I can't remember his name now, but has had more than 100 surgeries, I think that is way too much. There is something I like he says, about "god made like you are, you can't change it" as him, I don't agree with that, there is no god, what made you look like you look is just genes and unfortunately sometimes genes are not the best and don't work that great and well you may not look that good, in that case you can mold yourself but I think there are limits.Because if you interfere with your body too much, you can put in risk your health and what is the sense of looking beautiful if you are not healthy.

But I know is hard, once you arrange one thing about yourself, you will want to arrange this, and this and that. I think for doing this you have to be quite mature and learn to value yourself more and I know is hard once we don't love ourselves is very hard to start. I think you will actually never love yourself enterily but you can value yourself more.

Just like we see our imperfections, we have to learn to see our good points.

In my case, I don't like my nose and my jawline, because you can't actually see it (because I am chubby) but I like the size of my face is small, I have big eyes and my lips are small and a bit chubby and pale pink.So i have found more good points of my face in relation with my bad points. It took me years but I am learning to find the value within me.

Now I have been talking just about physical beauty but let's not forget the inner beauty, which is really important. Because even if you look like a goddess but your hideous inside then that is it. People will feel attracted to you when they look at you but when they know you they will go away.

I am not going to be cynical and tell you that physical beauty is not important, because it is...everything enters by the eye, if I like you or not first will depend on how you look and it is true we judge we want it or not, we judge on appearance and because of that most of people then forget about their inside.So I tell you don't forget that! don't become a real doll that is beautiful outside but has nothing inside.Develop your inner beauty and believe me people will notice your inner beauty because you can see it reflected on the eyes, in the aura, the energy that person gives is the reflection of the person's beauty. As well as ugliness, you can notice it.

In conclusion if you want to be a doll, then be a doll but remember society is not ready for you and they won't really accept you so be strong. Also value more yourself and develop your inner beauty a long with your physical beauty. Take care of your health it doesn't matter how beautiful you want to be just don't let that interfere with your health. And follow who, what you want to be, no one has the right to stop you, except yourself but remember to be open minded and try to understand others, if you do then they will try to understand you as well and lastly just be happy with yourself :)