This year I have met so many people, that I cannot believe it!! I also kept my friendship and saw parting people who I met the past year. I said "hello" and I said "good bye"I lived many moments and all were lessons, for good or for bad, but at the end everything is something I can remember and hold and learn from.
I had many crushes, none worked, however I did learn that I have to value myself and not let anyone look down at me or treat me in a lower way, I learnt what it is to be treated bad and what it is be treated good, I decided how I want to be treated and won't let anyone look at me or treat me in a bad manner, no matter who that person is.
I had become more independant and I learnt I must follow my dreams, no matter how stupid they may sound like or how impossible they may look like, if I don't try, how am I going to know?
I learnt to not be happy with what I have and to be ambitious in a good way though, they horizon is big and somewhere there there are things waiting for me.
I learnt not to be greedy and materialist, without realizing I was becoming that type of person, who was concerned on how I looked in a shallow way, I wanted to get approval in a superficial way, I was concerned how others eyes were perceiving me, I was frustrated how I looked and concerned how I did not look, but I realize that does not matter. I look in a way that others may not and I must take care of it not bash it... if someone before bashed me for how I am, I shouldn't let it affect me, everyone is different and unique. It is funny because I said these words to many people, however I never applied them at me, I guess now it is time.
Appearance does not matter, of course it is the first impression, but I have to learn to show outside who I am truly inside, because what it is inside it is what it counts, the outside it is just a shell, it will decay, but your heart, that will always be there it will never die.
I learnt to value my family and learnt that the only person who is keeping me inside in a cage is myself. I felt trapped but I blamed everyone, my family, my work, all external circunstances were gulty and I just a victim... however the only one who was responsible of my own impresonment was myself, it was me who kept inside the cage, the key within me but blinded to that fact and blinded looking outside.
Only I can liberate myself from my own cage.
I got myself into troubles that now I am slowing solving, just because of greediness and try to look like someone I am not. I lost myself however now I am finding myself, my creativity is coming back and I am finding again my true essence. That person was not me, however I wanted to protray that, I met people who were to see who I was for real, they did not care about my shell they choose to share with me, because I was able to show at moments what myself was for real. The fake me just met shallow people and did not create any friendship, the real me created wonderful memories, laughed, cry, loved and got frustrated. The realm me learnt many things and leanrt the the fake me will not take me anywhere.
I learnt to value what is important, what really makes you rich in life. I learnt to value my family, to be thankful to them, to be thankful to everyday, that even when people go from your life, those memories will always be with you, so they are always with you.
Death knocked at my door and took away beloved people. It helped to see that we should never take anything, specially anyone! for granted, we never know when they may not be anymore. However I did leanrt that if they go, a part of them is alive inside of me, in my heart, in my memories I can be with those who are gone.
I got depressed because things didn't work they way I wanted, I blamed everything outside of me, and I hated myself, I did despised myseld. I harmed myself, I couldn't take it any longer and I hated myself even more, I was afraid of the changes I was doing, myself was growing up and I got scared, life became brighter and I was used to my darkness...I realised changes are good, you can't be the same always, if not you don't grow and as life passes by we must grow, we just have to learn to grow up with out forgetting what is essential...growing up it is a hard and challenging process but it is inevitable and we just have to learn to take the challenge, it is ok to be afraid but we have to be brave and look up, look at the sky, dream, believe and not to loose our trueselves to the material or shallow aspect of the reality of people, just be loyal to yourself.After all the only person who can trap yourself is yourself and the only one that can give you freedom is yourself, noone else.
So these are my words for the ending year, than you to everyone who were part of this year, I am grateful and happy. And I am anticipating the new upcoming year, soon I will write my aspirations and what I want to accomplish the new year :) Now I am just happy with 2015 ~
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