I am finally back!

Hello! Happy 2017!
I am back after a very long time and though I thought I was not going to enter my blog ever again, I decided to come back to my blog. I also left behind my youtube, so pretty much all my projects were left behind. Shame on me! Now I decided to start again and not, not of because of the new year's resolution, I am not that type of person, I usually never have new year's resolution, is just another year, nothing much changes.

Now what I been up to? Well, many things had happened...2016 was a difficult, horrendous year indeed!
I have changed so many jobs, it has been insane, been unemployed and ended up with debts, how fun! Now I am finally paying back and getting my things in order.. but this year didn't start easy, oh no!... very hard beginning and I am still recovering from it... However, what a lesson I have learned!

But I am not here to talk about my dramas because I want my internet life to be no dramatic at all, I pretty much want my internet life to be my wonderland or my happy place? Just my place to be me and my escape from reality.



So I want to come back to my blog and start again with my Youtube channel project once again!
Now I have to be real, I can't do it very often, specially since I have been away for so long and lost the routine, so I will start uploading once a month. I want to start with my music reviews, which seemed to have a lot of readers. I will do top 10 of the month, in which I will review the songs that I been listening the most on that month, now this post will have connection with  Youtube video... then I pretend to write about other things that won't  have a video and I will promote my blog through my Instagram that is pretty much my most used social media app

So that is it guys, I prefer to keep brief this blog update and soon will be updating again!

Reply...

So I been watching in these two weeks Reply 1988. I watched previously Reply 1997 and 1994, if I am not wrong with the dates. I liked the previous Reply before so I thought maybe wouldn't be bad to  watch the new one, which was released last year.


I must confess I liked this Reply more than the other ones. I mean don't get me wrong, the previous ones were awesome! and hilarious! and this was as well, however I felt emotionally more touched by this Reply, it was more touching and showed many examples of values as family, friendship, partner, etc...
In every episode I laughed and cried. And I felt so much empathy with the characters, I loved every single character, all of them were so diverse.


I think at the beginning and maybe until the end was a bit not very organized as it seems not even the crew were sure with whom to partner the main character and was confusing at the beginning. And by the almost the end it suprises you because the adult version kind of doesn't match the young version at the beginning and by the end you can notice an awkward change.
Anyways that is not the point, I think I enjoyed more this Reply because it felt like it taught me a few lessons about friendship, family and love.
My love life is a boring disaster so I am not going to mention my learnt lessons about it. However I will mention friendship and family. Specially as the family was what caused more impact in me.


What I enjoyed the most was the value of family shown on the drama. The drama shows a diversity of different type of families. I loved the loyalty that children had towards their parents and vice versa. And gave me the feeling and the lesson that we have to be thankful for our parents, we have no idea how much they sacrifice themselves for us and we just take them for granted and complain if they an't give us what we want. We should never take any one for granted, not parents, siblings, friends or a lover. We never know when that person may go away or how much is sacrificing for us.


The other aspect I enjoyed on the drama was the sense of community that existed in the neighbourhood. As someone who lived in a streets where no one cared about anyone. I enjoyed to see how everyone helping each other and caring about each other.
It made me think that today we have no idea what is going on around us, we don't care about others anymore, we are just forming shallow relationships.
It made think technology is ruining our sense of community. We don't look around anymore, we only look at our phone screen and pretend we care about others, by cliking  "like" on SNS or sharing a post. But we don't actually care at all.
Same happens with friendship. We gather "friends" on social media  but we have no idea about them, people just gather as much as they can, but again we just don't care, is just a number. What is the point?
I think we are just loosing our essence, our humanity and it is quite scary.

Lastly I will talk about the friendship and love shown on the drama.
I loved the friendship between the characters. They know each other since they were children because they live together and keep their friendship until adulthood. Even the friends from school, there is such a sense of I won't say loyalty but respect and appreciation. There is honesty between them and support.
Then the couples, I never found myself really being in such a awe state for couples in drama, the love it is innocent, the characters actually take the time to know each other, appreciate themselves for loving each other for real.
It just takes me to the conclusion that technology has screwed us up!
We gather fake friends in social media and we meet people online just to have one night stands and maybe actually have a relationship, but we don't know anything about each other.
In school we develop shallow friendship, just for not being alone and to bad talk about others.
Real friendship it is so hard to find and if you do please keep it and value it!
The same with love, mane people gather together just for not being alone, to have someone to just fuck or take pictures with and pretend and show on social media, how perfect couple they are, when you actually don't know each other at all.
Is this the generation of shallow or superficial relationships? Since when we became like this? No wonder people is thinking in droids as companion and even love companion. Since when we imagined being replaced by a machine? Where are we going? What kind of future is coming for us? I am getting really scared...
What do you think?

Anyways I recommend you guys to watch this drama if you haven't it is worth it!
And maybe too think about the time that we spend in a screen and the time we spend looking into someone's eyes and talking for real.

Realization

So today I write about a wake up call I had. And today's post I will complement it with a video a well.
However here I expose my feelings and ideas in better order than in the video.
So I haven't write recently, since last year...and I now I said I will try to write at lest once a week and haven't done so...
These last weeks haven't been so good as something really bad happen n the family. My sister lost her baby and well you can guess the feeling that is around the family. All those dreams and expectations are now replaced by sorrow.

Also my sister's health it has been in risk and being spending quite sometime at the hospital or going to doctors, etc... And I must say one thing, that the medical system here sucks! Believe me in my country is better, a lot of things that were easy to avoid because of the lack of profesionalism of the "doctors" it happened.
So because of it, of course my sister is the most affected person, however my mother is devastated as well.
So I have to be strong for both, as either of both take care of themselves in the conditions that they are.
In these weeks I haven't cried in front of them, even when they cry, I do not. I haven't sowed them nothing of sadness from my part, because I have to be the ones that needs to give them energy and in somehow cheer them up.

However I ended up crying at work.... not the proper place, however the people I work with were the sweetest and most comprehensive people ever and I realised I have a small family there too.
However this is not my realisation, my wake up call was another and it was in my inside, in my heart, which is an important place for things to happen if you want to make a change.


So from a very long time I used to cut myself, maybe I started since I was 13 years old and last November was the last time I did, I never shared much actually, and people who knew thought I stopped. I have been always careful about it, never showed and always hiding. For a long time I thought, that there was nothing wrong about it, anyways it was my body... My cuts didn't meant I want to die but just that I deserved the suffering, just that. The world is a cruel place and we cry and etc...I guess you can get the idea of what I mean.

Because all the stress, sadness I have been living in these last weeks, I felt the urge to do it, to cut myself...I needed it, however I stopped and then is when I realised... wouldn't this make my family even more sad? Wasn't it unfair on them? It didn't matter how sad I was, my sister is the one that is suffering the most, I had no excuse! ... even if I hide it well, it was not fair... what good was a few cuts to make me feel better? I was not going to feel better. When you cut yourself you may feel a bit of relief for a second then it comes the guilt or shame, because we have to hide the cut and you bring yourself another bad or sad feeling and there we go again. And also what ever problem you had it did not go away because you cut yourself and it won't, you are just adding more.
I have been hurting myself for more than 10 years and finally I realise the stupidity that I was doing and the coward I have been all this time.
So I feel that finally I can stop. Why to bring more pain or more negativity that there is already. If we cut because someone is treating as bad because people are just too mean, aren't we giving them more power to hurt us? Harming ourselves is not going to make this people stop and feel bad about their actions, they will continue and will make even more cruel and we just keep hurting ourselves even more, we are giving them even more power to hurt us. IS this fair? Does this make sense?
Do you think that only us have the right to hurt ourselves? Why? Isn't the outside world cruel enough? Why we have to make us suffer even more?
Also let's think about those people who we love. We are hurting them too, they are sad every time they see the scars. A mother you raised you with all her efforts, suffering and sacrifice, ofcourse she will be sad to see the you her child is hurting yourself, because she wants the best for you, your happiness, your well being and self harm is not being good.
By cutting people also will walk away from you, some may try to help you but if you don't change they will eventually go away. Living life is not easy, why are making it even harder?
So these ideas came and others as well. Why it took me so long? I don't know...
Unfortunately sometimes to be able to change something really bad has to happen, is not fair but humans are very stupid beings indeed and we learn in the hard way.

It is hard to write from outside or in this way, because I know the feeling, why we do it... but I am sure we can stand up and walk, run and even fly...That is what I want for myself and for everyone who is in my place too.
I have shared today my reason why I  realised that I can stop and why I feel now it is worthless to cut my skin.
If you wish I will share with more of my story. Life is full of shit and I have lived some really screwed up shit and survived. And I want to get to the point of looking my scars and feel good that I was able to stop and continue life, looking life from maybe another perspective.
I want to also to help whoever is going through a hard moment and is harming themselves, I know it may be now the way to scape or feel relief but believe me is not, you are hurting yourself even more.
This is it for today, if you want me to share more, please let me know... I think I will do it slowly as this is been very personal issue for me.
Here is my video too

2015

I usually don't do this however now I kinda regret, there is always good in remembering and look to what happened, to the lessons we have learnt, to the memories we have created, to be thankful of those events, because they happen only once in our lives and not remembering is like being ungrateful and not learning anything. So today I will briefly share with everyone my moments of this ending year.

This year I have met so many people, that I cannot believe it!! I also kept my friendship and saw parting people who I met the past year. I said "hello" and I said "good bye"I lived many moments and all were lessons, for good or for bad, but at the end everything is something I can remember and hold and learn from.
I had many crushes, none worked, however I did learn that I have to value myself and not let anyone look down at me or treat me in a lower way, I learnt what it is to be treated bad and what it is be treated good, I decided how I want to be treated and won't let anyone look at me or treat me in a bad manner, no matter who that person is.
I had become more independant and I learnt I must follow my dreams, no matter how stupid they may sound like or how impossible they may look like, if I don't try, how am I going to know?
I learnt to not be happy with what I have and to be ambitious in a good way though, they horizon is big and somewhere there there are things waiting for me.
I learnt not to be greedy and materialist, without realizing I was becoming that type of person, who was concerned on how I looked in a shallow way, I wanted to get approval in a superficial way, I was concerned how others eyes were perceiving me, I was frustrated how I looked and concerned how I did not look, but I realize that does not matter. I look in a way that others may not and I must take care of it not bash it... if someone before bashed me for how I am, I shouldn't let it affect me, everyone is different and unique. It is funny because I said these words to many people, however I never applied them at me, I guess now it is time.

Appearance does not matter, of course it is the first impression, but I have to learn to show outside who I am truly inside, because what it is inside it is what it counts, the outside it is just a shell, it will decay, but your heart, that will always be there it will never die.
I learnt to value my family and learnt that the only person who is keeping me inside in a cage is myself. I felt trapped but I blamed everyone, my family, my work, all external circunstances were gulty and I just a victim... however the only one who was responsible of my own impresonment was myself, it was me who kept inside the cage, the key within me but blinded to that fact and blinded looking outside.

Only I can liberate myself from my own cage.
I got myself into troubles that now I am slowing solving, just because of greediness and try to look like someone I am not. I lost myself however now I am finding myself, my creativity is coming back and I am finding again my true essence. That person was not me, however I wanted to protray that, I met people who were to see who I was for real, they did not care about my shell they choose to share with me, because I was able to show at moments what myself was for real. The fake me just met shallow people and did not create any friendship, the real me created wonderful memories, laughed, cry, loved and got frustrated. The realm me learnt many things and leanrt the the fake me will not take me anywhere.

I learnt to value what is important, what really makes you rich in life. I learnt to value my family, to be thankful to them, to be thankful to everyday, that even when people go from your life, those memories will always be with you, so they are always with you.

Death knocked at my door and took away beloved people. It helped to see that we should never take anything, specially anyone! for granted, we never know when they may not be anymore. However I did leanrt that if they go, a part of them is alive inside of me, in my heart, in my memories I can be with those who are gone.

I got depressed because things didn't work they way I wanted, I blamed everything outside of me, and I hated myself, I did despised myseld. I harmed myself, I couldn't take it any longer and I hated myself even more, I was afraid of the changes I was doing, myself was growing up and I got scared, life became brighter and I was used to my darkness...I realised changes are good, you can't be the same always, if not you don't grow and as life passes by we must grow, we just have to learn to grow up with out forgetting what is essential...growing up it is a hard and challenging process but it is inevitable and we just have to learn to take the challenge, it is ok to be afraid but we have to be brave and look up, look at the sky, dream, believe and not to loose our trueselves to the material or shallow aspect of the reality of people, just be loyal to yourself.After all the only person who can trap yourself is yourself and the only one that can give you freedom is yourself, noone else.

So these are my words for the ending year, than you to everyone who were part of this year, I am grateful and happy. And I am anticipating the new upcoming year, soon I will write my aspirations and what I want to accomplish the new year :) Now I am just happy with 2015 ~

BJD Dolls and Recast BJD (A brief opinion)

Ok, so today I will briefly touch on the issue of recast dolls and BJD dolls in general.

So What are BJD? They are resin doll that are articulated. In short BJD stands for Ball Jointed Dolls.
These dolls are wonderful, are beautiful and indeed just dreamy. However they are super dare, however they do worth it. But everything related to them is expensive, not only the doll itself but, eyes, wig, make up, clothes and accessories.

I got involve in this not very long ago, maybe it will be a year. However I did not know much, the only thing I knew is that I wanted one. I randomly found a photo just by randomly looking at pictures of the subjects I usually like to browse and suddenly a BJD comes, I was very curious when I saw the photo and with luck knew that they were called BJD, so I just looked on instagram for photos of these so called BJD dolls and well I just ended up falling in love of the perfection and how beautiful they were. So then I look in my loyal ebay website (where I usually buy everything) and saw them, I realised they were quite dare and then internet sent me to aliexpress where they could be found as well, however I noticed the price range was a nit different, so I just selected the one I really fell for and purchase it and just because I could I purchased another one that captured me.












So I ended having what is called a Recast doll, by that time I did not know but I did had the suspicious they those doll may not be the original dolls... After all after for all original there is a copy. However I did not let that bother me and I am happy with the dolls. Then I wanted to extend the collection and I did purchase other recasts again, this time knowing that indeed are not originals. However as I mentioned I love every single doll of mine, not because they are recast I will love them less or throw them or what ever, I love them because they are my first dolls.

However I do understand that buying a copy is the same as purchasing the copy of a dvd. I understand that. And right know I am patiently saving to get an original doll, however I will keep my recast dolls and keep loving them because are my dolls.
Original dolls are better and you support that artist, however they are not really affordable and recast are a good solution.
For me recast it was good for introducing me into the BJD hobby and I do want to get original dolls now. But I am not deleting the choice that maybe one day I might go again for a recast doll. Why? Because they are more affordable and in the case I want to get maybe two at once without spending too much, even though I  am still spending quite a lot, it could be a good choice. However I do understand that is good to purchase the original. Right now I have enough dolls ( all recast) and I am saving for having a original doll.
And I don't think BJD owners of original dolls should be bashing owners of recast or vice versa. We have in common the love for these dolls, could be enough to join everyone?


One thing I have noticed in BJD communities is the constant bashing, and I must say it is quite sad. This is what has stopped me from joining from any community or participating.
Here in New Zealand I don't know any one who has a BJD, and never seen one. Wrong! I did saw a guy with two BJD that looked more like anime characters, however he did not seem the approachable type so I didn't get close to talk and I personally like more the BJD with more human looks.
However like I was saying I don't want to be bashed or bullied online because of the dolls that I adore. My dolls are recast, yes! and I love them! they are my first dolls and I am proud of them!
And also I don't want to be bashed or bullied by people I don't even know! And I was bullied and bashed enough in my school days to know get cyber bulling!
But my point is why are BJD communities bashing or bulling each other! that ain't right.
I think BJD applies to any doll that is articulated by ball jointed system. If it is resin or not, looks like anime of human like, it shouldn't matter. Original or Recast shouldn't matter, the thing is the love for these precious dolls.
This post could quite long but I will finish it here. I would love to read if you have comments, just please be respectful, that is the only thing I ask.
Like I say I am new in this hobby, I very much like it and there are still many things to learn and do.
Thank for Reading this post and also Thanks for Reading my blog :)
Soon I will be writing about Cruelty free make up :)

Cosplay

So today I went to Overload, here in Auckland.
So overload is like an anime convention, so many goods are sold and indepedants artist sell their work and many people dressed up as anime characters.
So I have never been really into cosplay but I was curious of people who can dress up as an anime character...however I always liked the idea of dressing up...
However I have been following up accounts of people who do cosplay or just random cosplay accounts where they post photos of cosplay of different animes...




So then I became really curious and just admired people who was able to cosplay and show it to the world.
Because I left myself influence by it, I bought wigs and started to use them and then contact lenses and use them...and now after today's convention, I think it is indeed my taste to start cosplay... it feels as a thing I should start doing...
Anyway I am so impressed with today's costumes
Please visit my instagram to see the photos and also the things I bought :)

https://instagram.com/vege_vampire/

Ok so this is a brief posting from today, just felt like sharing my random thoughts...hehehe

Lonely Teddy Bear

So after a while I write again.
I started a new job and well I am just getting used to it and sort out my time.
I have been thinking what to write about... however now my post will be a bit random
First though, I want to share that I have opened a second blog! Yay!
the link is
http://lovelybeautifulnightmares.blogspot.com

The idea of this blog is to share my experience of depression, and maybe my experience could help other who are going throught it now...
So please give it lots of love and go and visit it and if you know anyone please recomend it


As always I like to put photos in my post, as I don't like just too many letters. While I was posting in the other blog I found a photo of a lonely teddy bear... and then felt curious... and looked at photos of abandoned teddy bears...So yeh! this post will be about teddy bears! Why? because I thoutgh it just looks sad when they look all wearn out and lonely...

I mean teddy bears are our first best friends. When we were scared we just held it tight. When we sleep we feel safe while hugging it.
He alaways look at us with loving tiny eyes, they are soft and you just love it.
In my childhood my teddy bear was the best, and even when I was in high school and had depression my teddy was there, was the only one that will love me unconditional.
Then we grow up and forget it... it is sad...


I know a teddy is not a living thing... however I think is a thing that has a lot of meaning in our life. Because is our loyal companion, that made us feel safe, loved and that we had a friend...
This takes me to the conclusion that it is sad to grow up and becoming an adult...
My favorite book was Peter Pan, and ofcourse I felt fear of growing up, because I did not want to loose my spirit... I think when you are a child you see the world through many different color, however you become an adult and the world become grey or black and white...it is sad...We stop beliving and whatever that attaches us to our childhood it is forgotten.

Let's not be cruel to our inner child, if the time has passed for our toys then maybe donate them, there may be a child out there who wants a friend to cuddle and that teddy can receive the love from someone else instead of being left behind and rotten with time...
However I think we shouldn't kill our inner child, let's see the world with colors, let's our inner child get out and jump, let him/her smile and laugh
 

A Life Choice, a Personal Choice.

So when you hear the word vegan... what does it come to your mind? Ah! those crazy people, yeah,,, they mean good but they are extremist and crazy.
I must confess I used to think like that and still think some of them are too much, however now I understand.
Whoever that reads this post, I ask for your understating. I am not trying to convince anyone, I will as this just a personal choice that it can only be made by the person itself. However I ask for understating and to be open mind, no matter if you are vegan vegetarian or meat eater.

I started as to be vegetarian not long ago, I am still in the transit of becoming a full vegan.
When I was young I never was good with meat, however in my country meat is a huge part of the traditional food, I always felt guilty that an animal had to die so I could eat. Now I realise of course it does not have to be that way at all but it takes time to realise and as I notice with people, they don't want to see, as humans we do not want to see the cruelty. I remember when I was young I watched a documentary where showed about fur and I watched how people took the skin out of the animal while was still alive! ... that was huge impact for a 8 years old, I watched that programme being alone, while my mother was away at work and my sister at university, I cried the whole day and hated adults, since then I have being strongly against fur fashion and even fake fur as it promotes the use of real fur.

What about hunting? It was one of the most stupid actions of humans. We don't live in stone age, then why hunting? Hunting for sport? what a cruel nonsense! for what?! just the stupid ego of the human. If you want to feel superior then do something clever, help the environment, help the society, don't destroy it! By killing other animals that have don no harm and are innocent, you are just being a fool! You are just proving you are not superior at all, you are the complete opposite! You are a scum of human!
Now these are the obvious things that a lot of people are against off... that however still happen...



Now the issue... killing animals so we can eat. Now just question yourself, would raise humans so they can be eaten? You wouldn't right?... then why animals... why is it ok... don't you think they have the right to live... Now you get surprised when you hear in some countries people eat dogs or cats. I mean you will never eat one, right? Now why pigs, cows, lambs, fish and others... just because society said accepts that they die... Don't you think it is time to change it. It is proved that humans can eat and possess all proteins and nutrients from plants and legumes. This is the way vegetarians think and I must say since I stopped I feel better. I always felt guilty about eating meat and then decided I will stop and I must, it has being the best choice I have made.
Now here is the think and the issue that causes fight between vegetarians and non-vegetarians. The reason why non-vegetarians can't stand vegetarians or vegans, it is because we are to eager to change the meat eater. We talk non-stop about the cruelty about all the suffering and the fact that they eat a corpse.
I realised this with my family. Now I am the only one who is vegetarian and in the transition of becoming a vegan. And I wish so strong they stop eating meat and any dairy... However I realised I cannot... and it is frustrating because they are the ones I loved and how I would give anything so they can change, but it is not up to me, it is up to them. They are the ones who have to make the choice and I don't want to be hated by my family and friends. We need to respect each other.



Vegans and vegetarians are in favor of respect of life. I think we need to respect choices.
It is good you have chosen to be either vegan or vegetarian, yes it sad others don't but we need to respect it, I know you find it hard, because you think, how can I respect someone who eats a dead animal, someone who doesn't respect the animals life... well I must say, you have to respect, we are all humans, no one is superior to another. We all make our own choices, we must respect it. Of course I do agree that we have to make others aware of the unfairness animals are suffering, the cruelty. We can share about what is behind of what people eat. But we cannot impose it and try to force them. What is the result? We are called crazy, extremist and being disliked by everyone. Of course no one can be liked 100% but I think we can do things in other ways.
I did myself impose my choice to my family, it ended up in just fights and tears. For me my family is everything and friends had been hard to find. However because I love my family so much, I talked over and over again about the injustice, the cruelty, the horrid scene of their plate of food, I tried to show them videos, I tried all... what was the result? I was being disliked, they didn't respect my choice because it was easy, I wasn't respecting theirs, I was not giving any choice, I was trying to force to change. I realised I couldn't force them, just the same way they can not force me. It hurts me, but I had no choice than baking up. Of course I haven't give up, however imposing is not the way.



The best way I found to be respected and awake some awareness was cooking. I cooked vegan food and desserts, plus buy when possible vegan options to replace dairy and meat. Like that they are starting thinking it is healthier and taste good.
On my facebook, I am continuously uploading videos or pictures about cruelty towards animals. About how cows and pigs and other animals are being killed with no mercy. In my way I try my best to make people aware of the unfairness. I do receive some response and I hope one day it will make changes.
I also choose go cruelty free, with my make up and beauty products. People ask me about what foundation or BB cream I use, as people say I have good skin, I always say I choose cruelty free products and publish on my instagram and facebook my recent beauty purchase.



Now one last thing I must critic about vegans or vegetarians, is that they don't accept people who are meat eater to be animal lovers or be against of other type of cruelty.
I was a meat eater, however I always loved and still love animals. I was against fur, mistreatment of pets, bull fight, dog fights, horse race, dog race. I always fed dogs on the street and picked up abandoned kittens, now thanks for my love for animals I became a vegetarian. I think if a vegetarian meets a no- vegetarian but they are both against animals on circus, they should join, don't tell them off. I have read words such a " a meat eater cannot be called animal lover"... Believe me I understand why you say that, however we have no right to say that. Yes it is a shame they eat meat, however they see a cruelty and are against it. Why not to celebrate it instead of saying no. I think loving animals in somehow it would lead to one step at the time.
Maybe we should think better how we act and how we want to give the message and be accepted.

Please leave your comments if you have any, I want to know what others think, vegetarian or vegans or not vegetarian and not-vegans.
I will make updates more often now, stay tuned :) ... and hopefully YouTube channel will be coming soon. ^^

Would Lestat enjoy listening to Love Metal?

Ok, so today I will be writing about something that I always wonder when I listen music or read Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles.
After not writing for a while and being a bit unsure of what to write, I decided to write this little thought that haunts time to time.



when talking about love metal, I am meaning one band in particular; HIM. They are a band from Finland, and been playing music for quite a while now. But I won't go much into the band, as I don't pretend to write a biography of the band, for that there are many web sites and Wikipedia.
I may be mistaking by this but as I have understood they are the ones who came up with the concept of Love Metal as a way to describe their music (I might be wrong) and honestly I don't know any band who are under this category. (However correct me if I am wrong)


Then we got Lestat, who is vampire. I will say one of the most loved vampires in the literacy world and even for the ones who do not read and have seen the movie, he is the vampire that captures you with an enigmatic charm. He is evil and he is so human as well. However you notice that he is actually is not evil at all, he is just a revel, and a spoiled brat, a brat vampire prince and is charming, indeed!
When you read the books, it is so hard not to love him! he has this amazing adventures, he always gets himself in quite big troubles. His way of thinking makes actually think and you can feel quite identified yourself on how he thinks and even if you don't you may think that his thoughts are very interesting indeed. And the way he loves everyone just makes you want to be loved by him so badly.


The way I see Lestat is like an idealist immortal man. Not matter how many years has passed, he is a romantic and idealist. He has this way of seeing things, people, feelings. He has quite an strong ideal and walk through life following these ideals. He hasn't changed and won't change.
He has this particular way of loving everything and everyone that surrounds him. He a man that you won't actually find in reality. And as he is I think he will enjoy listening to a music which lyrics talk about an idealism of love, the love of Romeo & Juliet, that tragic love that you could die for. Those type of lyrics that are lost in now on day music



Ville Valo, his is lead singer and front man of HIM. His voice is low and beautiful, it goes in perfect harmony with the type of melody that HIM creates. He writes about an ideal concept of love, that tragic, deep love that everyone forgot... that concept is still alive in his lyrics. He adds religious terms to the lyrics which give this mythic feeling to the songs. No matter how slow or how fast a song can be, the heart of this song is a bleeding heart, aiming for love and able to die for it.
The first time I listened this band was with the song "Your Sweet 666" and I immediately loved it. It gave the impression that is about accepting even the most darkest side of the one you love. ( I am ready to take your 666 in my heart)... because isn't that when you really love someone, you will love every aspect of that person, even the shadows your beloved may have.

When I watched the music video for Join Me, the moment I saw he was the perfect image of a vampire and I couldn't avoid to compare him with Lestat. I thought he could be a perfect Lestat or Lestat would love to make him a vampire as he is beautiful as one. The song Join Me, is beautiful "Won't you die tonight for love?" I thought that was real love... if you love someone, wouldn't you die for it? It is just an ideal and idealistic talking it is beautiful, however we are selfish and won't die for anyone no matter how much we suffer or miserable we can be after. Join Me, really makes me think of Romeo & Juliet, Hamlet and even Dracula. In my case as I am an idealistic I would die for the one I really love and sacrifice it all, I feel as I could do it, however I will now when it has to be tested. Anyways I am getting out of my point here.

As I probably have mentioned, I feel as Lestat's love is unconditional, he can really love and is not shallow as humans are. Anyway, I am sure Lestat enjoy reading Shakespeare and in Dracula he can find beautiful the tragic love Vlad has towards Mina. My point all these comes to my mind when listening HIM.

Every time I read a book where Lestat is in the story, I listen HIM and honestly there is no better mix and I feel pretty confident that Lestat agrees a bit with me with the fact that he enjoys listening HIM.

And on Queen of the Damnned, Lestat becomes a rock star, I always associate it with Ville. I think Ville look like how Lestat could have looked.

Well this is the end of my posting, hopefully soon I will be writing more :)
Lefay~

Becoming a Youtuber

So blogging and youtube seems to be a really good way of expressing yourself. I have been wanting to become more frequent on my posts as I have the intention of maybe opening a linked youtube account and upload videos respecting my posts.
Previously I manifested my intentions on this blog, however as I am working non stop I did not have the time and when I finally had the time I was too tired to start anything and the only thing I did was to sleep.
Right now I have a decent time schedule t work and gives me more free time, which feels boring now, so what if I start this plan?

I follow plenty youtubers, I love how simple they are and love their charisma and sense of humor. In my case I don't think I have much of sense of humor, but I want to try.
I think I have things to show and manifest.
Right now I am living in a different country I can show things of here, places where to eat shop, etc... as I am a vegetarian and becoming a vegan I can show things related that topic and where to find here in NZ but I wont just focus just on that. And as I will be travelling a bit around the country I can show a bit of nice places in this country.

As I also plan to travel outside the country I can continue and share about that. and other random things.
I want to be able to go in depth in a topic in this blog and show some visual through videos.
I also want to be able to communicate more with people, I know people read this blog, however no one really writes a comment. I know also I have been slacking a lot as well but I am really determinated to change this.
I want to talk about any topic, music, fashion, technology, cosmetic, arts, books, places, diets, etc...
Do you have any suggestions?

Maybe it is time to start something new, something fun!

SoulMate

Soul mate it is term I did not believe at all. I knew it existed in somehow, but it was more related to a novel or a good drama or anime. Not something of the real life
I think a soul mate it is not your partner or the person who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Of course it will be ideal if your soul mate is the person who you choose to be for eternity. However is not always has to be like that.
I have heard of friends being soul mates, friends from the opposite genre or same and not because it is your soul mate you have to marry that person. After all, love has many shapes and manifestations.
I have even heard comments that a soul mate you be a family member, that is the charm of it. That person could be anywhere and could be anyone. Looking for your soul mate is not necessary looking for the love of your life.





















I think everything happens for a reason and I think that if we have the chance to meet certain people, there is a reason as well.
Then if you meet someone from the other side of the world and makes certain impact in your life even though it is for a brief period, then that has a very important reason behind it. After all nothing is a casualty.
My point? It is just to share that... just give brief description, as today I realised I may have met that person. The feeling he gave me, is not something I have ever felt before, it is so strong, so unexpected and so real and unreal, that just amazes you.


The feeling you can be openly yourself. Like you are exposed but you are safe. You cannot feel that with many people at all, hardly anyone. We are always hiding ourselves, protecting ourselves, after we cannot really trust anyone, not even ourselves. So at the end we are never ourselves with anyone and cannot never be exposed to anyone.
But what if you meet someone a complete stranger that makes you feel as you are not strangers at all, that you know that person for so long and that you can be completely naked and you won't be hurt.
Or like no matter how much you try to hide or pretend that person already knows your true soul and accepts it.
That is the feeling... it is such a strong feeling and it is wonderful, however it is full of melancholy and a bit of sadness when you see that person walking away from your life, as there is no other option. As for some reason your paths seem to be the same, not yet (maybe)
But you are still thankful and happy as you were able to meet that person at least once and it is a special memory, because you never thought you will meet someone like that.


So at the end you can just hope that your paths will cross once again and hopefully for longer time and share more moments together or if at the end of this life you never saw that person again, then you just hope and wish that in the next life your path will involve that person, you just need to meet that person again, after all that person is the one that can see you as you are. You share the same vibration. As I previously manifested it feels as you are from the same planet and that is the most extraordinary feeling.