I was afraid of the beginning of this season, and still am. The most beautiful season, when every corner possesses the most beautiful colors and every garden is full with blossoms. A season now full of memories that makes me burst into tears.
How long has it been? How many springs have passed where I can’t enjoy the blossoms and specially sit under that tree where I met you?
I still can remember vividly our meeting; it was like magic… everything was magical around you…now where is the magic?
“It was raining, one of those spring’s rain, I had no faith anymore, I was disappointed with the world, I was just running, walking stray. Wanting to scape to leave reality… when I heard a wonderful voice… fairies? No, fairies don’t have such a special voice… maybe a ghost or an angel?
The lyric of the song talked about life being a rolling dice with unexpected results, about people who betray you, about friendship and love… it was painful but full of honest feelings.
Slowly I walked trying to get closer to that voice, when I see him. His black hair with white highlights…was he human? I didn’t think so, no one with that beautiful voice and stunning looks could be human right? But if he wasn’t human, why would he sing about life?
At that moment didn’t matter, I sat between some rocks and without realizing I fell asleep.
When I opened my eyes I saw the most beautiful scene I had ever seen. The blue sky on contrast with the pink color of the blossoms. I stood up there it was the magnificent tree … with his splendorous pink cherry blossoms, it was spring and I didn’t notice.
I was by myself on that park, surrounded by the grass, the flowers and the vigilante trees and in front of me that cherry tree. I didn’t feel lonely for the first time because that tree was giving me his company, I could feel it.
Days passed and walking towards the tree became a routine.
That day again my feelings were like a roller coaster I went to the tree, I stayed there under his shadow…I fell asleep embraced by the tree. In my dream I was able to see the most beautiful flowers with bright colors and all blooming in the most spectacular way… a voice… voice singing about the spring, about the beauty of the season about the blossoms…a melody full of sweetness…I smiled I was able to feel my lips drawing the smile…
I woke up surprised, I opened my eyes and there he was in front of me, he gave me a kind smile. He was beautiful, with his long hair…he looked even more beautiful than a woman… who was he? What was he?
-Who are you?- I asked
- I could ask the same…you stole my spot- he said with a strong voice. His voice was deep, nothing similar to his singing voice or to his feminine appearance.
-Are you real? - I asked
He laughed –do I look like a ghost?-
-Well… kind of…- I replied ashamed of my own question
He smiled and laughed in a sweet way – well actually I’m a demon… are you scared?-
-Not really … I think you’re too beautiful to be scared of…-
His cheeks turned red – thanks… you’re too honest-
I nodded.
-Your name?- he asked
-Shizuku…-I answered
-Yours?- I asked this time.
He looked at the sky – is not important he said…just call me demon-
-But… - I couldn’t finish my sentence because he was leaving.
-Wait!!- I yelled – would I ever see you again?-
He just smiled and turned his back to me and I saw him walking away.
I tried to meet him again but couldn’t. When I got tired of my failures his voice finally reaches me.
-How often have you tried to find me?-
-Everyday…-
-Why?-
-I wish I could answer… but I have no answer…-
He smiled – maybe you’re so lost as I am-
-Lost?-I asked
-Maybe…reality is not like our dreams and people who can give you a hand one day will turn their back on the next day…-
-Then maybe we are…- I replied
-But you know even when those things happen… life actually is not a bad place… is like the change of seasons…a seasons full of cold and storms like winter that changes into a beautiful brightness mike spring…that is life…-
-Like a rolling dice…- I commented
-Yes like a dice rolling without stopping-
-Who are you?- I asked again, this time I could notice anxiousness in my voice.
-no one important… I already told you just a demon-
-please demon… Don’t disappear… don’t leave me…-
He just stared at me, without expression, without saying a word. Slowly he became closer and gave a sigh and his arms surrounded me. I hugged him, feelings his warm his essence, his smell just like flowers; I closed my eyes I could feel safety on his arms. Was like that feeling when I first noticed the cherry tree.
Day after day I met him under the tree. Nothing important I could talk or say nothing…he never talked much about himself… he just talked about the things he liked, bout cherry blossoms, about music and traditions… He sang most of the time and intoxicated me with his sweet melody…
After meeting him, I felt the courage of looking life with other eyes…
The season changed into summer, with the exuberant heat, that made me have the most strange dreams and illusions about nature and my demon friend. Pictures invaded my mind, actions realities that were not mine, just a delusion.
But I could feel something…an event was coming… feeling…a premonition related with the moon and that cherry tree.
In matter of no time autumn came to knock in our door and giving us the most beautiful brown, hazel, red rain of leafs.
My demon always had something to tell, a story related with the season, stories that might been real and stories that were definitely fiction.
Sometimes he use to tell stories while singing and transport me to a world I never dreamed of.
The cold winter came and I hated…now the field was covered of snow, it was beautiful scenery… but that snowy day you said you were leaving.
-Why? - I asked
-My time has come…-
-Your time?-
-everything has its time, nothing is eternal…remember like the change of seasons…last winter is different to this winter…nothing is ever the same…-
-but you…you should be always here…with me…-
-And I will…-
-But you said you are leaving…-
He just smiled kindly like the first time he smiled at me and slowly he turned to walk away. I grabbed his hand and tried to stop him “don’t go” he just said “I’m sorry” …
-remember everything I told you, everything I showed you… the magic of the seasons…you said it yourself. You said that now you can see the world with other eyes…remember to always look the world the people in that way… remember that the dice has to keep rolling…one day it will stop…my dice stopped…your dice will stop one day…smile Shizuku, if you’re sad I will be…but if you remember me with a smile and treasure these memories I will be in peace…”
His words left me frozen “peace” what did meant? Couldn’t be right? A gentle kiss on my cheek, his hand holding mine with strength but gentleness… and without realizing he was not there anymore…the cold wind started to blow …creating a cold melody…started to snow and it was the most cruel beauty I experienced…
It was a long winter…
It was spring again but I did my best to ignore it… it was cruel… and so every season was cruel…but the cruelest was spring…
I was coward… what was he thinking about my fear? What he might be thinking about my ingratitude towards him?
Now I walk towards that park, it had changed but it has the same essence, the sweet smells of the blossoms are intoxicating… I tremble I am able to see the top of the tree, the pink flowers and the pink carpet of flowers covering the grass…I missed but it hurts…Slowly I walk towards the tree; it is immense, magnificent, beautiful and full of memories. How many things has this tree evidenced?
When I was finally there I became closer under the shadow provided by the tree a beautiful white butterfly passed by and while flies away I can see the wings turning blue with grey tone… was it my imagination? Probably now the butterfly is far away to be able to see the wings.
I sat there, I remember every single experienced under this tree, I cried… I cried until I slept again. When I woke up, it was night. The sky was clear and full of bright and sinning stars. It was full moon, giving light towards the cherry blossoms, giving them the white and bright tone. It was a marvelous nocturnal scene, just like magic…it was magic…
In front of me he was, smiling with tenderness I came closer, it started to rain, just like the first time I saw him, He offered his hand inviting me towards him, I held his hand and I could feel his magic again, his sweet smell of flowers…
“I miss you…”- I said
-I know… but remember in your memories you can find me-
I nodded while I tried to hide my face on his clothes.
He touched my shoulder and slowly pushed me away “we will meet again…”
And under the moonlight he slowly faded away…
Was still raining I held my hand on the air, toward where he was, with the expectation that his hand was going to hold mine but nothing happened…the air was touching me, the rain was wetting my hand but didn’t touch my hand again. I fell and cried at laud, screamed…looked the tree, with his bright white flowers under the moonlight.
“Until we meet again” I said while I smiled.
Still in my dreams I’m able to hear his singing voice but I still wait and will wait patiently and that day arrives, the day that I will see him again.
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