Maybe was the same dream over and over again. Slowly the dream started to change.
It was dark, I couldn’t see what it was far away but I was able to listen a melody, it was an orchestra, I could listen the violins but no matter how much I walked, I wasn’t able to get out of the darkness and the music disappeared. Then without noticing I was surrounded by fog, this time I was immerse on the emptiness.
I woke up with the strangest feeling. Didn’t matter how much I asked to god the reason of my dreams or to stop dreaming, on every dream the emotions got stronger and more confusing.
Every day was the same always so boring and shallow, pretending to be who everyone wanted me to be, maybe my dreams reflected a real aspect about me.
That night as most nights, I didn’t want to sleep, I was reading my book under candle light as always. A sudden hit on my window interrupts my reading, the noise of the branches scratching my window. A storm? When started to rain?
I walked towards the window and looked outside, it was raining, it was dark, so dark that I couldn’t see the tars on the sky, it was foggy too. A strange feeling tormented me ,that scene was familiar, my body froze when I saw shadow on the street, the shadow was there standing under the rain, in front of the gate, the started to walk away until got lost on the fog.
I wasn’t scared but an unfamiliar feeling was tormenting me on that moment.
My body gave up and without noticing it I was sleeping again and inside my dream. Same as always, darkness, fog, and the melody of violins a melody I have never heard before, just in my dream.
This time I was walking in the fog, listened the sound of my footsteps; I never realized that I was wearing heels and a white, delicate dress. Like those dresses when I go to a ball or another similar event.
It didn’t matter how much I walked all I could see was the fog and the only I could listen was the silence.
With time that dream became familiar and even when it made me feel the most confusing feelings, I prefer living inside that dream than living the real life. But as usual, every night I read the most I could to not fall asleep.
The dream progressed really slowly but in the same way I was getting used to that emptiness… maybe I was facing my own empty self. At the end, who was I? Just an empty doll, who anyone could control as a marionette, smiled when everyone wanted me to smile, to be silent and delight others with my talents, which were taught and I hated them.
Even when in that dream I was only walking, at least I was not pretending, maybe that was the reason why I preferred being in that dream.
Finally something changed on my dream, it was still the same but this time the melody of the violins started to play, the more I walked the melody became louder, slightly the fog faded away and the darkness was replaced by brightness and I found myself on a salon, women dressed with the most beautiful dresses, with precious details, colors and wearing the most exquisite jewelry. Men dressed in elegant suits. Looking carefully everyone were covering their faces with the most extravagant masks, it was a masquerade ball, the most mysterious and attractive ball I’ve ever seen.
The music got louder and everyone was dancing in magnificent way. It was a magical scene under candlelight; every detail was so perfect, so unreal.
The more I walked through the salon the most mesmerizing the dream became. Walking around, looking every corner, people drinking, laughing, crying, and kissing. It was so diverse. I wondered what their real faces looked like but their appearance with their marks was so beautiful that didn’t matter.
In no time I was outside in the balcony looking down, the gardens were illuminated, I felt like in the theatre watching the most curious play. The scene was similar to how it was inside, people dancing with their magnificent dresses and suits.
A pressure on my chest, it ached…a pain I never felt before.
I sighted a shadow, a familiar shadow. Without realizing I was already on the garden, the shadow was in front of me, slowly coming closer; slowly I could see his figure clearly. He stopped a few centimeters from me, I clearly was able to see his face, his mesmerizing dark hazel eyes, they were deep, and it felt like I could stare at them forever. His factions were quite feminine but his expression was very manly. His dark hair was long, touching his shoulders. He was wearing a dark suit, a long dark scarf around his neck. He was imperfect but perfect as well. Handsome, I felt bothered by my attraction for him on that moment.
Making an elegant hand movement he invited me to dance with him. I couldn’t reject…
That dance was the only dance I enjoyed, it was magic, and something I knew I was not going to experience it ever again. That was the first and the last.
Guided by him we went inside, went up the stairs and went through a hall illuminate only by a few candles. He opened one door, it was dark inside, and it didn’t matter.
My back against the door and my lips trapped on his, Feeling his hand, his fingers on my skin.
A scene of lust in the middle of the dark. Listening the music produced by the violins and cellos, just a feeling of unrealistic pleasure.
He whispered to my ear…a phrase I couldn’t understand completely, I just understood “like a butterfly”…everything became dark again, he disappeared, I was not there…on the middle of the dark butterflies were flying, it was peaceful and then everything vanished and I never dreamed again and either woke up.
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